Happy (not so much) Valentine's Day

Well I don't know where to start.. Yesterday was Friday the 13th and the re-make Friday the 13th came out yesterday.. sooo.. Jason and I went to go see it... we get there.. have some drinks... have fun.. and then it gets cold outside!! So we go to the surf shop there.. and we're like seriously on our way to the movies!! Soo.. what does he do... find someone to help him (no problem there) and then decides to flirt with her.. HARD CORE... which whatever.. I don't really care... but then it's time for the movie to start so I approach them and say let's go... well lord o lord that was the worst move of my life!! We didn't go to the movie.. because guess what.. there weren't any seats left.. we leave.. and on the way home he procedes to tell me.. it's time to split ways... just like that... told me I have 2 weeks to get my things out and move out of the house... I kind of put it off thinking it was him drunk and angry... but then today when he goes to get out of the car he says "love you" but no kiss. I called him at work and asked why.. and he said we're breaking up!!! WTF!! Not on Valentine's Day!! Seriously... Not now... I don't know... I just wish I could go far far away to a new place and just quit!

Stroke my ego...

I want to be someone's inspiration.. I want to be longed for when all I did was walk by and smile you.. I want to have someone kiss me every day when they see me because they love me that much. I want my tears to be wiped away with no questions.. just a hug. What about surprising me with dinner one night.. instead of walking in on you playing your video games.. How come I can't be the girl sitting at work bored out of my mind and to my surprise I get a delivery of a single tulip and a simple note that says something along the lines of Hi! I need a little reminder every now and again that you still find me sexy, smart, funny.. anything besides worthless... I miss tickle monster.. I miss random sex in random places with you. I want a big hug every now and again just for the sake of it. I wish I could come home and the trash was taken out. I don't ask for much.. I ask for little things.. I don't even want these things to happen every day.. just once in a while.. remind me that you still love me. Tell me for once from your own free will why you love me... I'm not asking for some long serious conversation... just next time we're sitting there look at me and say I love you becase.. and fill in the blank (your laugh, your ability to cook, your horrible baking.. idk.. anything!). I NEED romance! Why is that hard to come by?? I try to be romantic.. I try to remind him why I love him.. I try to do little things all the time for him... like buying a freaggin juicer for limes... c'mon.. it's that simple.. remember one thing I enjoy or like or said I would want.. and just go make it happen.. (I'm cheap so it'll never cost much!).. I don't do these things every day... but I try to do something at least once a week for him... and I get nothing in return.... I vote for a change!

I had a bad day...

Yesterday was not a very good day.. well the last couple of days in general haven't been good. I feel SO down about myself lately that just about every shower I take I look forward to so I can go cry and not have anyone bother me.. it's horrible. Last night... I wanted company while I was showering so I asked Jason to sit with me... instead of being nice and just sitting with me and chatting... he decided it would be funny to first pee on me while I'm showering and then second goes get a freezing cold glass of water and pour it on me.... I mean yea.. on a different day I would have just laughed and figured a way to retaliate.. but not last night.. I Just wanted to snuggle... have my ego stroked a little and go to bed! And then today... I call him at work to say Hey and what-not.. and he tells me he wrote a song and told me his inspiration was Natasha... who is one of my oldest best friends and who he also "thinks" he fooled around with a long time ago... which okay.. I sort of laughed... and then I asked (dumb me.. I sort of set myself up for disapointment here) if he ever wrote a song and I was the inspiration.. and what does he say... NO!! Well gee thanks hunny... I just want to go home and go to bed!

I died last night

Well I endured my very first bar last night in all its glory. We started with a good dinner at Outback and I finished three beverages there... then we decided to hell with grocery shopping let's go drink!! (well I'm pretty sure I am the one who decided this.. he didn't really want to!).. and where did we go you wonder.... Lenny's!! We got there and I decided... I'm drinking beer because I wont drink that much while I am there... and well after two beers and two games of pool.. I'm not sure of the rest of the night... something with Mind Erasers, girly drinks the bartender made me and a couple long island iced teas... I died! I'm not sure I remember the drive home and I have brushed my teeth three times and I still have the taste of stale alcohol and vomit in my mouth! You wanna kiss!!

It was rough.. I was drunk Jason was drunk everyone was drunk! We even entered a drawing to win a Jager machine thingy!! I hope we win!! :)

Alright.. yea.. just had to let everyone know I died last night but had SOO much fun...

But on the down side... I'm at work... right now... since 9 this morning... and the room is still doing circles around me... and I'm not sure how I actually got here today.. lol! Oy... to be 21!