Hmm..

I need to lose 17lbs. That's it. Then I made it.

Will I get married? Probably. Will I regret? For the rest of my life.

I cry myself to sleep every night. I refuse to change anything because I don't believe I'll ever find better. I guess I'm not the type of girl that deserves a story-book romance. I will eventually learn to live with it.

I will always have my doggie to love me!

Maybe when I finally get into the military I'll be sent straight away to Afghanistan or Korea.. and then he cannot come with me. We would both be happier. He can live his life as the Ultimate Bachelor with no one to answer to! I can set up his own personal account and he'll have cash monies to wine-n-dine every woman with no questions. He'll have my house in which I am providing to play off as his own.. he can pretend he is a (albeit small) trustfund baby. Wouldn't that be fun.

His wife, potentially, risking her life every single day in hostile environments only dreaming of seeing his face again or hearing his voice one more time and to finally come home while he is being mister bachelor.

Lame life but the life I live.

Oh piss off...

I'm finally moving on.. yuup.. go me!! Told the idiot I'm done and he actually got mad @ me because it wasn't on HIS terms we were breaking up!! How lame-o blame-o is that??!?! Found an apartment and possibly moving this weekend.. GO ME!!!!

UGHDJGSJDFGLKJ

Why.. holy cow why?!?!?!?

Step 1 Complete

Well step one is done.. The abortion is over.. and now just to drop the weight and sign my papers!!

Let me tell you... yesterday was hands down one of the worst experiences of my life!!!! I was awake and could feel the WHOLE thing!!!!! Talk about scary!! On top of being able to hear the whole thing.. Jason didn't even wake up to take me.. thank god for Sara!! I swear next time I'm keeping the little booger! lmoa... I saw the ultra-sound... he was kind of cool lookin... I dubbed him 'Lil Johnny'.. idk why?! Anyway..

It's the final game for the World Cup today.. woot woot!! Let's go Netherlands.. they have seriously won EVERY game this year.. sooo... I hope they kick some serious spaniards ass!

Oh the stress...

Well.. where to begin... Abortion count down has begun.. Saturday is NOT going to be a fun day... I'm showing... I'm in pain... and sort of not enjoying life right now. Good news.. I'm joining the army!! Sooo.. good bye Saint Cloud and hello opportunity!!! Talks of marriage is in the air... who knows what will happen with that.. but I can tell you this now... it aint happenin unless someone gets his shit in order!!!

Possibly leaving for bootcamp in 2 months.. so that does give me a small glipse of hope to be back in town for my birthday.. woot woot.. which BTW... I would love to have themed around Group X.. simply because they're ahhhhhmazing! LMAO!!

Hmm.. don't have too much to report.. love the new job.. hate the new living arrangements... love my doggy... and hate just about everything else.. lol!!

Yea.. who knows

So I am giving up on ever attempting to make plans again... We made plans the other day to go to the beach.. and then he comes home today and says we're going to dinner.. and so I said oh okay.. so we'll go early to the beach... mind you we made like full day/night plans... once again... plans canceled on me... It's getting old... seriously old.

Seriously..

So about the only thing I honestly want to do is join the Air Force.. it will give me an amazing job.. great traveling opportunities.. a stable(ish) life.. and no... can't even do that... I have to wait three months to try again... eff all this... I swear... I just want out of all of this.