Heavy Eye Lids

Okay.. so it's August 4th.. that only means my 21st Birthday is in exactly FOUR MONTHS!! That's right.. soon I will be the big two one.. no stopping me now! I think it's fitting! I am turning 21.. becoming a woman.. I am moving on my own.. I have a "big girl" job now.. and well.. life is finally starting to look up! I have like a zillion dollars in debts I owe to everyone and their mother.. but I will be able to pay them.. thanks to my new job!

I was laying in bed one night and I rolled over and asked my boyfriend...

Do you think you were put here for a reason?

Now think about it... question it.. roll it around on your tounge.. let it seep into the cracks of your mind.. that question really bothers me. I was reading a magazine, don't ask which one since I don't remember... and I thought about it.. and well.. I don't know how to answer the question and that bothers me! Like isn't everyone supposed to be here for some reason or another? I have no idea what my purpose in life is.. I am not overly good at anything... I am not overly passionate about anything relevent.. I am just a being sucking up the air and poluting the Earth. This almost makes me feel like I am lost... perhaps I will find out later in life.. or maybe I will never find out at all and I was a waste of human worth? I certainly hope not.. but you never know! Anyway... this question later made me wonder... have I impacted anyone's life? Does anyone ever look back and think.. well Thank's for her or I would have never done this.. or whatever!? I have those thoughts just about everyone in my life! It's kind of crazy!? Anyway.... think about that question... if we are or not put here for a reason! Let me know!!

Alright.. on a lighter note... I want a chinchilla really badly! I am pretty sure they are one of the cutest things in the whole wide world!!! I have been asking my other half to get me one since we have been together... so that's roughly 4 or 5 years I have been asking... and I still don't have one! Anyway... they are cute with their big fur ball bodies... funny tail... and sand baths! If you're getting rid of one.. give it to me!! I would name him Beaches!

Okay... Adios... it is time for me to get some sleepies!